Yes Jace, I Lied

I once took an ethics class in college in which we read the book that our professor wrote, "Is Lying Sometimes the Right Thing to Do?" In this class we read real-life and hypothetical situations that would then lead us to have to answer this question. As a mother I have made up mind mind about this truly debatable question: yes, sometimes lying is the right thing to do.

Don't get me wrong, I tend to be a very honest person and strive my hardest to always tell the truth in my words and deeds, but I feel motherhood has given me some exceptions to the great commandment, Thou shalt not lie. One of these exceptions is when I lie to my five year old and tell him that he doesn't have to get shots, when indeed I am absolutely planning on making him get those darn shots.

I told Jace about two weeks before his 5 year check up that he would be going to the doctor and he would have to get shots so that he could go to kindergarten. I decided to tell him about the shots early so that there would be the possible chance of him warming up to the idea and hopefully not being scared to get them. Wrong move. That never happened.

After many tantrums and major melt downs, Bryan and I told him that he would just go for the check up and he wouldn't have to get shots. Thus the great lie comes into play. He accepted this, and he didn't mind the idea of going to the doctor if there weren't shots involved. Every time the appointment was mentioned he would ask, (actually declare), "I don't have to get shots," and he would repeat it over and over until we would agree with him. I knew that if we didn't lie to him, I wouldn't have even been able to get him into the doctor's office because he is one determined, stubborn, and LOUD child.

When we got to the doctor, I asked to speak to the doctor outside in the hall before he saw Jace. The doctor and I connived and agreed not to tell Jace that he was getting shots and we planned the best way to go about it. The great sneak attack was in place. After the exam, the doctor left and Bryan and I told Jace that the nurse had to come back in to check his legs. Jace happily jumped up on the table, we got his thighs exposed, and Bryan began to distract him with a great game of hiding his face under Lily's blanket. And then....POKE. Two shots in two legs by two nurses.

Screaming, that's what came next - lots of screaming with lots of angry words. He yelled both at me and the innocent nurse that was wrangled into the mess, "You're mean!!" as she left. He told me over and over that he was mad at me. And then, "You lied!! You said I didn't have to get shots."

That's when the guilt hit me. But just a hint.

Yes Son, I did lie to you. I lied to you because I'm your mother and it's my job to take care of you which means keeping you healthy which means making you get shots. So maybe it means that sometimes I am supposed to lie to you if it is in your best interest. And just know this Jace, there probably will be many other times that I lie to you. But I promise only if it's in your best interest. I'm sorry Son, that's just how it has to be.

Because lying sometimes is the right thing to do.

Especially when you're a mother.