Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Room with a View

When dreaming of my dream house, I have always wanted a kitchen that had a window above the sink with a fantastic view. Because you know, women spend a lot of time in the kitchen, (especially in front of the sink) and therefore they should have some great scenery to feast their eyes upon.

So a couple of weeks ago, after looking out of my kitchen window, it hit me. I may not have my dream house, but I have a good version of my dream view. It only took me 5 months to realize it.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Chose to Neglect

I had a day last week where I felt the horrible feeling of "motherly neglect." If you're a mother or caretaker I'm sure you can relate. It's a time where you do what you want to do and you somewhat shirk on your mother/wife responsibilities. I contemplated this feeling and almost posted about it last Wednesday, (I even took a picture to go along with the post!) but I didn't. I mean, how could I post about mother's neglect just after I posted about a mother's love?

It was noon-thirty that day and I was still in my pajamas, the beds were unmade, the breakfast dishes were still in the sink (or on the table), the waffle ingredients and iron were still on the counter, the kitchen table still had breakfast goop on it, and now it was time to make lunch. So what was I doing? Blogging, blog surfing (or blog stalking - however you prefer), emailing, and chatting with my hubby online. It was ME time. Pure, unadulterated me time.

As I sat there and saw the mess around me, I had a twinge of guilt. "I should be doing other things," I told myself. And then I found myself asking why I should feel this way. Why indeed should I feel guilty or even feel that I was neglecting my children or my "duties"? In fact, the boys had been fed a warm, healthy, whole wheat breakfast, they were dressed, and they were laughing and having a great time together. Why did I have this guilty cloud of neglect hanging over my head?

And then just a couple of days ago I was reading a blog I follow and found that this lady was having the exact same feelings. She was expressing her concerns to her sister when she said, "...I could do these things but I would have to neglect more than I am willing to bargain."

Her sister then gave this great advice, "But you can do anything you want to do. You can choose to neglect. Don't get stuck in that rut."

You can choose to neglect. Basically... it's okay to pick and choose the things that we are going to neglect in order to keep our sanity. We can't do EVERYTHING, therefore we have to neglect SOMETHING. Don't get stuck in that rut of thinking that it's not okay.

...And that morning last Thursday, I chose to neglect a clean house and me being dressed in order to have some ME time. And lo and behold, the house didn't come crumbling down just because I chose a little neglect.

I believe this guilty feeling of neglect is just a motherly instinct - also commonly known as mother's guilt. We usually all feel some form of it every day. That's just how God created us, and that's okay. I think mother's guilt helps us to become better mothers. It's a nasty, nagging feeling, but it can be there to help us. We can remember that feeling yesterday, and be a better mother and person today. We just can't let it overpower us.

We just can't let it get us stuck in that rut.

Monday, January 19, 2009


I can appreciate the fact that tomorrow will be a day well remembered in history. Our country has come a long way with electing a black American as President of the United States; evidence that we live in a land of opportunity and growth. This is change.

Indeed our country has been in need of a morale boost, a need to find faith in ourselves, individually, and as a nation, a need to make lives better, and to become united on the home front. Many believe that Barack Obama will be the one to make these changes. I hope he is successful in bettering our nation for all of our sake. However, should we put all of our trust and allow our fate to rest on one man?

I watched Oprah today in all of her anticipation for Obama to take the oath, and listened to hers and other's gushing excitement. Oprah and so many of her guests repeated that the nation is going to be better because of his election. Oprah absurdly announced, "I am better because of his being elected." Faith Hill said, "We've been called." Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher said, "He inspires us to change." They all speak of their desire for personal change.

I admit I am pleased that these people want to change themselves and to better our nation. Yet why is it that they didn't want to make these changes when President Bush was in office? Haven't we always been called to do our part for this country? Shouldn't we always be inspired to change our deteriorating environment, our personal consumption of the world's resources, the need to serve others and reach out and help the less fortunate?

Why wasn't Usher helping renovate an inner city school in D.C. before the inauguration? Why didn't Demi and Ashton make their pledges to end 21st century slavery three to four years ago? It was also said by Oprah that the county wants to be better because of his election. Shouldn't we always want to be a better nation? Shouldn't Justin Timberlake always have a "swagger in his step" to be an American and not just after election night?

Where was their personal accountability before the election of Barack Obama?

Demi Moore said it best when she said, "We are the change." Yes, we are. We are the change; we are the ones that need to make the difference in this demoralized country. The new president will bring change, yet the biggest change needs to come from us. Our personal choices have the biggest effect upon this nation; our choice to love or hate our neighbors, our choice to steal or give back, our choice to consume or preserve, our choice of bitterness or forgiveness, our choice to remain stagnant or to move forward.

I'm happy that so many people want to be better and to want to change our nation for the best. But please don't insinuate that the lack of your desire to do or be a better person is because of President Bush's tenure. If he did such a terrible job, your change to be a better person/nation should have been years ago and not just within the last two months.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Mother's Love

I was discussing with my sister-in-laws and mother-in-law about how as a mother, I have no privacy. None. Whatsoever.

As much as I try, I just can't seem to get dressed, use the bathroom, or shower without having a little one intrude on me. I don't dare lock the bathroom door when I shower for fear of something terrible happening and one of the boys can't come in and let me know. Like the time when Jace came running into the bathroom as I was showering to let me know that Cole was spraying potent cleaning chemicals all over the kitchen floor.

I was using the bathroom the other day with Cole perched on my lap because he absolutely refused to be put down. As Cole and I were sitting on the throne, I thought, "This is a mother's love. Allowing your child to sit on your lap while you use the bathroom."

It was an 'Ah-ha' moment.

Sometimes I just wish I could have a moment of peace to take care of my needs without worrying who's trying to barge in on me, yelling for me, or needing something. Somedays I just wish I could have a shower all to myself.

But then again, who cares about privacy when you have a cute little face like this smooshed up against the glass just trying his hardest to give you a kiss. Of course all of my cares wash down the drain as I bend down to kiss those flattened lips back.