Wednesday, August 18, 2010

18 Months of Perks

I may come to regret this post, but I've decided to be honest about life and how it plays out; so here it goes.

I have had the privilege of enjoying some benefits for the last 18 months since the time that I became pregnant with Lily until I finished nursing. I didn't quit nursing by choice, it just so happened that the milk producing department of my body put up the OUT OF ORDER sign.

Since this has happened, it has caused me to reflect on what I've enjoyed over the past year and a half. I know that pregnancy and nursing have a very long list of miserable qualities; however, they also have their own "perks".

When I was pregnant with Lily, Bryan once asked me this question (and while we were in the company of his brother), "Ashlee, do you know what my favorite part about pregnancy is? Pregnancy boobs."

Yes Dear, you are correct. It's the best part for me too.

You see, when my older sister stood in the "Bosom Line" up in heaven, she took her fair share of the amount allotted and then she decided to be greedy and take my amount as well. Nuff said.

So as you can see, pregnancy and nursing end up being a blessing to me in the bosom department. Many women hate the added blessing. Well, not me. I'll take all I can get, thanks.

A couple of other perks relate to Sundays. Two words: FAST SUNDAY. Yep, it's back to fasting full time. Is it bad to say that I didn't miss it? This also means a full three hour block of church. I always was able to cut Sunday school short because Lily was on such a set schedule that feeding time always fell then.

Wow, church sure has gotten a lot longer.

And finally, on one of the greatest perks it brings is the long separation of a certain relative. Yep, that one annoying aunt that brings her presence around once a month. You know that's an aunt that I don't get excited to see at the monthly family reunion. She's the one you run and hide from for as long as possible. She's the one that forces you to pack on a couple of pounds while she's around and you're crabby and not your self until she leaves.

I'd get pregnant tomorrow just to not see her ugly face again.

[Sigh]

I miss the perks.

Especially the perky ones.

15 comments:

Ty and Masha said...

Hmmm.......Interesting post. A little TMI, but I agree on all counts, not too much on enlargment of the upstairs.

Karlee Turner said...

Amen, Amen, and Amen! Although, as much as I (and Travis) love my pregnancy boobs, I have no desire to be pregnant again anytime soon :)

Laura said...

WHAT AM I WAITING FOR...I should get pregnant tomorrow to ENJOY all the PERKS!!!
This is about the funniest post from you ever.
Thanks Ash..and i'm sorry about no more perks.

Lisa said...

I can relate! I just got done nursing baby number four. I miss the perks but not being pregnant.

Mikki said...

Haha! So True!

Shannon said...

You're a good writer, Ashlee. You should write for a magazine or something. This post made me laugh. I think you are brave for posting it. I have to disagree with you, though. I don't like the perks because of all the other crap that comes with it, such as morning sickness, gestational diabetes, not being able to leave the baby for very long, etc. I've never been able to nurse my babies for very long, but for some reason, with Brielle it has worked, and now I don't know how to stop! I'm glad you enjoy it, though. And I know I haven't seen you for a while, but I really don't remember you being flat chested!

Anonymous said...

Girl, I agree that you should write professionally. You have the gift of expressing just what you want and what everyone else feels too in a comfortable way! And yes, yes to the good perks of being pregnant! And as for your older sister, she got my portion too or stole it from me when I was pregant with her. They always did seem to get smaller after each chld!!
Love ya Babe

Luke and Kellie said...

You are funny! And it is all true!

Syndi said...

Ah ha! now I know why you tried to embarrass me with your comments... your just jealous:) yeah that makes sense.

The Ceder House's said...

Best post ever. I agree on all three- thanks for reminding me that there are many "perks" as I begin the crappy part of nursing- like chapping, cracking and bleeding.

Tiercy said...

Such a funny post. I will be calling the Bishop to let him know he needs to have a PPI with Bryan soon. totally kidding. I just have to say, that for some of you get to miss the aunt just because you are nursing...nope, not me. Should I remind you that my boys are almost 13 months apart after all? That was 1 perk that I wanted but did't get. I loved nursing and am sad that I won't be able to have that opportunity again...almost sad enough to have another...but, NO, I am not that insane. =)

Kristin said...

You definitely covered all the perks. I just finished nursing and much to Luke's dismay my chest is quickly moving back to the saggy mess they were after nursing #3 child. And, Fast sunday is enough to make me want to nurse until kindergarten. :)

Gingerlylizzy said...

HAHAHAH! I loved this post. Sooo funny. I love those first two perks as well... unfortunately, the third doesn't work out so well for me. Aunt Flo pays me a visit at my 6 week appt. every time without fail regardless... *sigh*. No but really - this was hilarious.

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

Ashlee, thanks for your comment about the tabletops! I will ammend my post, you are awesome! And I am so in the same boat as you on all topics of life after nursing.
And I too have a greedy sister I think we are meant to be friends! Talk to you soon

love your guts
mandi

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

Ha ha ha Ashlee! That is so crazy! I love her and it totally makes sense that you are sisters because you are both so funny! When you talk to her again tell her that I love her!!

love your guts
mandi